Defining a Hero
by XCGirlie
Summary: "The thing about a hero, is even when it doesn't look like there's a light at the end of the tunnel, he's going to keep digging, he's going to keep trying to do right and make up for what's gone before, just because that's who he is."
1. Acceptance

I just binge-watched two seasons of Arrow as per my little brother's insistence. While I powered through the pilot and first few episodes, of the first season, for some delectable Amell physique, it was Felicity – Emily Bett Rickards- who really made the show enjoyable and added depth to both Oliver and Dig.

And after this academic year, my freshman year of college, the course load demanded a very intensive writing curriculum. I haven't had the time or desire to write creatively. But after devouring practically any and all Olicity inspired Youtube videos I just feel like so much of the interaction between these two characters will have changed post season two finale. Or maybe changed is a strong word. I don't know. But I do know that I want to explore Felicity in a character study, and her interactions with the other members of Team Arrow. Upon this realization I reached another one, I needed a direction - something that would guide me if I set this drabble/story/Felicity centralized thing post season two during the summer hiatus. Which brings into play HoodSmoaked's Olicity Wishlist. Really I don't know how I stumbled upon this particular list, but my challenge to myself is to write a chapter a day for thirty days incorporating something from the list each chapter.

* * *

#1: Oliver & Felicity holding hands (not on a mission or for a sham)

* * *

The prospect of living seemed so strange after only thinking about her death. Not that she didn't believe Oliver would come, that he would stop Slade or save the city. She did. The person she hadn't trusted was Slade, of course, thinking that he would kill her without making Oliver pick between herself or Laurel. And herself. How had she found the courage to do what she did? She hadn't believed it when Dig had wrapped her in an all-too-warm hug and whispered how brave she had been into her hair, before kissing her forehead. And when she returned the hug and quietly sobbed into Diggle pecs, he didn't say anything either.

It wasn't until Oliver landed in Hong Kong to board an A.R.G.U.S. aircraft, which would take them to Starling, that the numbness had worn off from the whole thing. Nonstop fighting. Nonstop chaos. Nonstop fearing for her life, or the lives of the people she had grown to know as family. She was hurting.

It was good to hurt. Good to be in pain, Felicity insisted, it meant she had survived. Not that she enjoyed the pain. No, the hurt that was crushing her lungs, and pricking her spine, it was almost too much. Not to mention the bruising she was sporting on her face and body. The glass shards that had cut into her skin. The thin laceration on her neck from the all to sharp sword, a testament to the bloodied mess that would have ensued had she not hit Slade with the serum.

How did they actually do it? What happens now?

Now, you help Oliver regain control of his company. Her mind supplied, while simultaneously staying away from the fact that ousted CEO's do not keep their executive assistants, meaning that she was as jobless as Oliver. And she was done thinking about that. You save him from himself. You have brunch with Diggle and modify the foundry. Maybe she would instate a team meal once a week. Maybe she would take up yoga again like in college. Maybe she would ask Diggle to train her. She would give Roy a hug. She wanted to call her mom and tell her how much she loved her.

When she saw Lyla run up to Diggle on the airstrip before the plane that would take them home she knew it was almost over. Her mind mutinously questioned what Diggle's news for them about Lyla would be, but she tucked that away to be dissected later. That this awfulness was coming to an end and that home was on the horizon, she hadn't believed it, despite having said it to Oliver on the beach.

Felicity didn't remember boarding the plane, or buckling the seatbelt but she didn't miss the intense looks between Diggle and Oliver. Was Lyla pushing Dig into a seat?

She knew the shift in weight beside her was Oliver, felt the hair on her neck stand, and goose bumps raise, before he spoke to give himself away. He smelled like sand and copper, and when she raised her eyes to look at him, she had never seen him as haggard looking as he did now. Not a swaggering billionaire playboy, nor a heroic vigilante, but just a mere man who looked like he had gone from Hell and back.

Felicity had killed any romantic feelings towards Oliver after Russia and had to mentally slap herself when ever she questioned whether the spontaneous shoulder touching was something more. But in the manor, she let herself, stupidly, bask in the untrue proclamation before reality set in and she felt the syringe pressed to her palm. On the beach she was just dumbfounded to be alive, so in awe of Oliver that he had been able to resist the urge to kill Slade that the brain processors weren't running, but now fully functioning she wanted to be angry, wanted to yell at him for not unveiling his plans, for using the feelings that she hadn't been able to hide. But she couldn't, she had been the one to suggest the plan in the first place.

The image of being powerless and struggling against Helena took her mind's eye. That night when she was taken prisoner behind her own desk.

* * *

"He is beautiful, isn't he?" Helena had taunted. "Has you fooled into think he fights for the side of angels, of good. But you and everyone else forgets, Lucifer was an angel, too. He was the most beautiful of angels before he fell." Helena hissed while tying up Felicity's hands so tightly that her fingers were tingling. She pulled the bun of Felicity's hair so that both women were eye to eye, and Felicity felt the tendons in her neck stretch painfully. "Oliver is not the man he would have you believe, Fe-li-city."

* * *

"Felicity." Not a growl, or a mumble, but somewhere in between. Don't be mad, she hears. Or maybe it is a 'tell me what's wrong' mumble-growl. She wasn't at her peak to decipher what he was actually saying, when he was saying her name. Oliver was so much more than what Slade had him believe. More than what Helena suggested. More than the expectations raised by Laurel, and more than just a definition for Sara to reclaim her past.

She wasn't angry; she was sad. Sad for the future she couldn't touch, for the Oliver that would never be hers. But she wouldn't hold it against him, not when he was so surely trusting her. He had an army of assassins: Diggle, Sara, even Laurel, and the person he choose to be his right hand was her. So she would swallow her damaged pride, ignore her bruised heart, she was his girl, not his girl-girl, and it had never been more clear than today.

"This is the second time I've ever been out of the country." Felicity blurted hands clutching at one another to stop from miming out typing. She wished she had her tablet to hide behind. "I mean, I guess third considering that I've been to Lian Yu twice, and Russia-" Mayday, her mind was screeching, abort mission.

He winced before taking in another shaky breath and reached for her hand. After a moment he changed hands and grabbed her wrist. Strange.

"Are you checking me out?" Her ears grew hot, and Oliver's face softened from the pinched rodent look he had been sporting before. "I mean, are you checking my pulse? Why, the ARGUS people just did that."

"I need to make sure that you are, that you were-"

"I haven't gained any injuries since we ended things. I'm fine. Not really fine, but I'll get there. Definitely not tonight, but soon. And you?"

"The same type of fine that you are, Felicity."

Then they shared the look that they always do. The one where Felicity is sure he is trying to reach her very soul through her eyes. She wanted to tell him how proud she was. How he was becoming the hero she always knew him to be. That even though she knows how much he has to grow, she sees such a difference from the hero sitting beside her and the man who stained the upholstery of her car.

But the plane's engine revs and she grips his hand with both hands. He holds her hands well into the flight, occasionally rubbing the callused pad of his pointer finger across her knuckles. When he makes shushing sounds into her hair, he lulls her into a state of anxiety-less silence, which soon causes her to fall asleep, leaning her head onto his shoulder. She hopes he understands, and that maybe one day she will be able to tell him everything she thinks out loud.

* * *

Happy readings, and I hope you stay along for the ride. Also, if able, please review. I have no idea if these characters are in character, and if you have something helpful to add, or even something critical I would greatly appreciate it.


	2. Catharsis

_Catharsis_

* * *

Oliver crashing at Felicity's apartment after a rough night as Arrow

* * *

W

With the car closing in on Westside highway, the very highway that would take them into the city, Felicity waits for the dam to break; for her sanity to bend under the weight of the past forty-eight hours, but it doesn't. She tests the bounds of the strange hopefulness in her chest and imagines the imminent invasion of the foundry by Laurel. She could see it so clearly, her safe haven taken away because gorgeous Laurel just has to be trained by Oliver. Becoming even gorgeous-er with the toning and definition that the training would imbue. They would become some kick-ass duo who are crime-fighting vigilantes at night, and a beautiful- sexiful-couple by day.

While Oliver had no problem refusing to train her, he wouldn't deny Laurel anything. Kind of like the speech he delivered, Felicity supposed, to her about not being able to 'be with someone he could really care about.'

Yea-fucking-right. He cared for Sara. Too much, apparently, that it sent her straight back to Nyssa. Unbeknownst to Oliver, he was her rebound, but for him she was his girl-girl.

She pushed the jealousy down. She had no right to be jealous. It was an unneeded use of energy. An illogical reaction. She beat it down viciously. Jealousy was caused by the brain, not the heart. Her brain had never failed her yet, and she refused to accept that it would begin now. No. She could shut of the jealous switch as easily as flipping the lights.

Felicity pokes at her inner-strength and imagines the worst case scenario: her team broken up. Without a family once again. But then she realizes she would never let that happen. Not ever. Any person, thing, or even evil-arch-nemesis, could suck her non-existent dick before that would come to pass.

Whoops, Felicity thought, exhaustion really does bring out the colorful language.

Her silence gains the concern of both her boys, she knows. She can read both of them so easily, not the secrets they safeguard as strongly as their lives, but their emotions and facial features are as to her as reading Java script.

But in this very moment, she was selfish and kept her gaze on the encroaching skyline. Dusk was so stunning in Starling City, and sometimes Felicity was so caught up in the worry and fear of when her guys went out to fight the bad guys, that she forgot how much she loved the nighttime.

Thankfully she has the window seat of the town car allowing her full access to the glittering towers of Westside Starling. Dig pitted himself between her and Oliver in the back, sacrificing his comfort and leg-space to abandon the empty front passenger seat. Giving her breathing room. (Lyla had something to take care of back in A.R.G.U.S and hadn't ridden with them back into the city.)

It must be weird for Dig to be in the back of a car with Oliver, instead of driving him around.

The snort from the opposite window broke Felicity from her thoughts.

"I said that out loud, didn't I?"

She didn't need anymore of an answer than the amused quirk of Dig's lips.

"But it has to be, right?" Felicity says in defense. She rambles on trying to hide how obviously she was self-conscience, "I can't picture it, in the early days, did you listen to his Queen-ess's orders?" Felicity added a flick of her wrist to emphasize Oliver's mannerism. "'Dig, bring me to my castle.' And then realizing that he disappears like a ninja, or maybe a shadow. Not that Queen manor is a castle, or you know, yours anymore. My God, I can't control the filter when the brain is this tired."

* * *

Are you awake? is the text she received from Oliver three hours after arriving home. She had just finished drying her hair when she saw it.

In the shower, before, she scrubbed the grim, sweat, and blood of her body under water too hot to be actually comfortable. She sat in the corner of the shower, under the burning spray, and cried. Not the silent weeping like on the plane to leaving Lian Yu, that was born out of exhaustion and sadness. No. This time she cried not for herself, but for Starling City. For Oliver and Thea. For Dectective Lance. For Shado. For the tragedies she had witnessed, and the carnage that was wrecked on her city. For the body count that was climbing as more of the destruction was unveiled. There was no greatness in war, no glory in the blood that stained the sidewalks. There is only broken souls, and lifeless bodies. But as the tears were finished and the water ran cold, she realized something. She needed to be more. More than who she was before this moment.

When Felicity read the message she was very tempted to not answer, to not confirm that, yes she was awake, because honestly she needed time to process privately. She needed to sleep, and sleep, and be selfish for once. She had just showered and readied for bed. For all she cared, tonight of all nights, Starling could manage without her. But could Oliver?

And he had asked the driver to drop him off at Laurel's apartment building, so what could he possibly need from her, Felicity? There were no computers in sight, no networks to be fixed. She knew she was being unfair and that she was more than just technical support, but she was in an unforgiving mood. An unpleasant, unforgiving mood.

What could he possibly need from her now. She had given all she could. Laid herself bare and vulnerable at a psychopath's feet for him, for the city. She thought she was entitled for a night off.

She always tried to make up her distinct lack of combat skills with other things, namely her technical prowess, but other ways too. She hugged when they returned from mission, tended to wounds when they were hurt. She nurtured their damaged prides when things went badly. She carried her weight within the team in a different way, a much softer way than Dig. If she didn't answer, then she would be letting him down.

She sighed. Yes.

There was a knock on the door.

Her footfalls echoed in the silence of the house.

"I'll make up the futon." No greeting. No awkward small talk. Whatever reason he was here, she would ask in the morning.

Sometimes one of the boys, or both, would stay at her home. An advantage of being on the outskirts of the Glades was that it was in the direct path to and from Queen Consolidated and Verdant. She opened her house early on, enjoying the company of another person, of lack of silence. On the infrequent occasion that either Diggle or Oliver was too exhausted to make the trek back to their respective homes, they stayed here. Oliver less so than Diggle, who kept a change of clothes her place.

"Thank you, Felicity," Oliver mumbles quietly as he worked to help her fit the sheets to futon. She remembers teaching him how to correctly make a bed, laughing as he rolled his eyes at her 'here is how the ninety-nine percent live' poke at the luxury he was accustomed to.

"If you need anything, help yourself. Sleep as well as you can, tomorrow we'll tackle everything, me, you, Dig, Roy. We are going to get through this together." She nods, before retreating to her room, "And always, Oliver. You can always come to me, you know that."

* * *

Two for two friends. WOOHOOO. Hopefully this chapter came out alright, I struggled a bit with it to be honest. READ. REVIEW. ENJOY. Onwards to tomorrow!


	3. Hopeful Friendship

**_Hopeful Friendship_**

* * *

Hopeful Friendship

"How did you even manage to get your old job back?" Roy bounced the tennis ball into her hands, before Felicity tossed it into the air waiting for a wayward arrow to finally hit it. It didn't. Roy's aim had greatly improved since first taking up the bow, but it was nowhere near Oliver's. Roy was slower, and much less confident, but Felicity had faith that he would continue on getting better. Plus this was fun. Much more fun that the previous plans of going home, getting tipsy on cheap wine, and binging on Doctor Who. Tonight was her night of celebration; she no longer had the joblessness looming over her head. She was practically giddy. Which was in turn lightening Roy's sour mood.

Why had she never interacted with Roy before the Mirakuru? He was so, well, there wasn't one word to describe him, except maybe stubborn. But he was just so cool. He was funny in a quiet, sarcastic way, and responded well to her babbling wit.

When Felicity walked into the Foundry three hours earlier and saw his red-rimmed eyes and the defeated slump of his shoulders, she just wanted to gather him into a hug and tell him everything was going to be all right. He was practically a baby, only nineteen years old, and had already been exposed to so much. But she was in awe of his courage.

Yep. Roy was someone she then set out to befriend.

She still wanted to hug him, but didn't, not knowing how well he would take spontaneous hugging.

"I didn't get my position back with the IT department," she said while tossing another ball into the air. An arrow is let loose, and then another miss. " I was transferred into Applied Sciences."

When Roy didn't give the reaction she desired, she repeated, but without the jazz hands . "Applied Sciences. Roy, it's like the super swanky, intelligent older brother of the IT department. I am going to be doing research. Finally. My MIT degree can stop weeping as I reserve Oliver tables at restaurants. I don't even know why I bothered with that, he is Mister Queen. He could probably swagger into any three-starred Michelin restaurant and get a table. Applied Sciences is what I wanted when I moved to Starling, but I needed a job to keep my home so that was that."

The eight days from the imprisonment of Slade to now passed in a blur. Oliver was meeting with lawyers to regain control of Queen assets, and with the head chair members of Queen Consolidated to become the CEO once more.

Diggle had been sparse, which initially worried her. When he wasn't with Oliver, he was not around the foundry. She shot him a text of concern, but he sent back saying everything was going to be fine. A worrying use of 'was' but she felt that he wasn't budging on his stance for not providing information.

Felicity shrugged. "Some good old breaking and entering, tech-style." Roy's blank look had her continuing, "I sent an email to the head of Queen Consolidated from the Isabel Rochev's company account. Had it watermarked three weeks ago, saying that my internal transfer had been approved and that I would be using my two weeks of vacation from the EA position."

Felicity picked off the flaking neon green polish of her nails. Time to pick another color.

"It's really ridiculous how slowly things go through at Queen Consolidated considering it is a Fortune 500 company. And it is equally ridiculous that I had to go through so much trouble. Not to pat myself on the back – but I am going to pat myself on the back – I am the best tech asset Queen Consolidated has-"

"How did you say all of that without breathing?" Roy had the same look on his face that he did when they had first met. Not self-aware, was what he said. He looked a mix between disinterest and boredom.

"That," Felicity said incredulously, "that is what you got out of what I was saying?"

"Basically you hacked your way through Queen Consolidated to get the job that rejected you when you got here."

"Hacked is a dirty word, you know."

Roy snorted in laughter, "Another ball please. Maybe this time I'll actually hit it."

"Is that misplaced blame I am hearing?"

And didn't that cut right to the heart of things. Even when she was actively trying to not bring up what would have Roy crying, she did. Her terrible brain-to-mouth filter.

At the silence, Felicity knew it wasn't blame directed towards her. She shook her head, knowing she slipped out a truth that he wasn't ready to share. What if it frightened him away from friendship. What if losing Thea meant losing Roy from Team Arrow? It was always a fine balance when she approached the idea of 'feelings' and 'emotions' with the two older members of Team Arrow. Don't push too much and have them shut off, and also having the patience to have them come to her.

For some reason they thought that have big muscles excluded them from needing to cry once and a while. As if she would judge their bodies less impressively if they expressed their fear, or anguish, instead of her having to dig it out of them. Roy, it appeared, would need the same balancing act.

"Hey." She dropped the tennis ball and edged closer to him. "Hey, it's going to be fine-"

He was turning red from his rage, not Mirakuru-induced rage, but I-hate-the-world-and-the-hand-it-dealt-me anger. "The world isn't rainbows and shit, at least not for me it isn't. Felicity, it's dirt and filth and corruption. I had something good. Someone good, and all she asked for was honesty. And I couldn't manage. I don't know if she is okay, where she is, or even how to contact her."

"She hasn't left the country, hasn't been checked into a hospital, hasn't touched any credit cards or bank accounts. There have been no death or marriages licenses made to a Thea Queen. The last time the facial recognition cross-referenced her face was when she was boarding a train to Central City, but then the electricity went ka-put, and I haven't been able to find her since."

"Why did you go through all that trouble?" He asked dubiously anger dissipating as quickly as it came. What do you want for it, is what he means. Because Roy expects people to take, and take. With no distinction or gratitude. He grew up defending what was his, understanding that if he didn't it would all-too-quickly be taken away.

An unexpected kindness, of course, would be regarded with skepticism and suspicion.

"She is important to both you and Oliver. Of course, I would look for her. And I will keep looking for her. I just didn't know how to bring it up to either of you." She hoped he saw her sincerity that he understood she actually meant every word.

He brows furrow, " I mean nothing to you, so why would you group me with Oliver?"

So we can be friends. So you are included in our makeshift family, something you desperately need to tether you to the side of justice. But she doesn't say that. That would be taking a jack-hammer to the balancing line, and destroying any chance of befriending Roy.

So she ignores the question. "I don't want you to get lost, Roy, so just know that if you ever need anything - anything at all - I am here. Here to listen or talk. Or even to get Big Belly Burger milkshakes with. Even though I will end up with a big belly."

He snorted derisively. "We are not going to share our 'feelings' and braid each others' hair now, are we?"

But under the affected disinterest, Felicity saw a flicker of something. Of what, she didn't know, but there was something she was sure about. Having people to rely on, a team, a family, it made all the difference.

She didn't want to think about a Roy Harper that didn't have the direction and support that Team Arrow gave. He would be more brutal than Helena and more vicious.

* * *

_**This chapter was inspired by the friendship between the actors who play this characters, which I would definitely see happening in Arrow. Roy and Felicity would be friends eventually I feel as if.**_

_**Also, friends group together and let's make this fix hit the double digits for reviews! Let me know what you think! **_

_**Shout out to my beta-reads: **__**reallyfeeling**__** for being fantastic.**_


	4. Developments

Developments

* * *

#3 Oliver and Felicity share a room

* * *

Dick Pennyworth, was all the rage in the newly built Applied Science department. Instead of a dank warehouse outside of the city limits, Ap. Sci. was now being housed with the main Queen Consolidated building. With four levels of newly renovated glass and steel rooms, and salivating lab rats all hoping to make the next big break in science the department was ready to once again become the forefront of Queen Consolidated's purpose.

Or at least that was what the Board of Trustee's, who were collectively acting as the head of the company, hoped.

And her boss, Mr. Pennyworth, with his shocking black hair, attractive features and glasses, and a dimpled smile it was no surprise that all of Felicity's fellow lab rats fell in line hoping to garner his attention.

She on the other hand wanted to keep her head low, and get through the complex algorithms keeping her from the lair. Oliver would have news today about the company, and his assets. Not his ass-ets. But his assets. Even though Felicity was sure Laurel would totally grind up on his assets. Totally.

The real kicker is that by offering legal consulting her and Oliver were together everyday.

Every single day.

It wasn't the fact her absence from Oliver's life didn't bother him in the slightest.

It wasn't that she felt suffocated when Laurel hung around the Quiver. Two weeks back and Felicity called this happening. She totally did. She was just waiting for the day when she would walk into the Quiver and find Oliver teaching Laurel to use the bow.

Not that he ever asked Felicity.

Two weeks ago – had it really only been two weeks since they finished the Slade debacle? - Oliver was crashing on her futon looking every bit a lost boy.

* * *

She had fully planned on going right to sleep after she made sure he had everything she could give comfort wise. But then she heard it.

Pacing.

Oliver only paced when either extremely frustrated or scared.

And the sheer fact that she could hear him doing laps in her living room was a testament to how distracted he was.

"Oliver, the point of making a bed is so that you can eventually sleep in it."

But when Felicity saw how tense and miserable he was she grabbed his arm and they both padded over to her room.

"Get in." When she saw his dubious look she pointed towards the bed. "Get in or else I'll stay up right along side you all night."

"Felicity, you are falling asleep while standing, you need the sleep."

She didn't deem that with a response, but rather continued to point to her bed.

"Oliver, I'm not going to steal your virtue tonight, so would you get in the damn bed. And by tonight I mean ever. Not that it wouldn't be fantastic it would- Three, two, one." She took a deep breath to regroup her frazzled thoughts. "I'm tired, you are tired, let's sleep. This isn't weird. Diggle and I platonically-slept together all the time before Lyla."

Felicity saw the glint of his teeth in the darkness of the room.

* * *

Because calling it an Arrowcave didn't make much sense given that arrows don't live in cave. But they are housed in quivers. It just made her grit her teeth a bit whenever they ambled into her lair and told inside jokes and remembered the 'good old days.'

My God, Felicity wanted to shake the woman. He fucked your sister to fuck with you. Your totally cool-kick-ass sweetheart sister. Repeatedly. And only felt remorse after thinking she was dead. He has daddy-issues, mommy-issues and a runaway-sister. He struggles with demons and nightmares on a daily basis.

He is not your _Ollie_.

He needs to figure himself out. Learn to love himself before you can expect any sort of viable relationship with him.

It was that Oliver didn't notice that Dig was obviously going through something. That he became so fucking blind the moment that Laurel walked into the room.

Laurel. Always Laurel. Everyone else be damned.

She wasn't jealous.

She was frustrated and hurt on Diggle's behalf.

She was worried that this was how it was going to go. Would Dig, Roy, and herself fade into the background, burned by the magnificence of gorgeous Laurel?

Wow her brain hurt.

Was it strange that she missed Oliver even with the knowledge she would be seeing him in a few hours. Missed taunting him about the coffee she never got him. Sharing impromptu lunches when she would make an extra-bagged lunch for him, or when he would order in and share with her.

And Dig, she didn't know what was going on with Dig, where has he been? Even when he was at Arrow meeting her wasn't really there. Distant eyes, even more noncommittal than usual. Shoulders slumped and huge exhaustion bruises under his eyes.

Wow, she had not used this much processing power on unrelated to Arrow business since probably college, where she struggled to conquer her senior thesis. Tracking criminals, and breaking into documents was easy. But this, this was the academic craziness she left behind in MIT. Oh how she had missed it.

Felicity pressed her palms into her eyes, hoping that when she saw the flickers light behind her eyelids that they would magically point her in the correct direction. Correct life direction, too.

" That's an interesting take," Felicity flinched at the smooth voice that came from behind her.

"Don't you knock," she snapped before swiveling her chair to see the victim of her ire.

Well, shit.

Bossman was standing in front of her dimples and all. She'd actually have to uphold work place decency because Oliver was no longer her boss. Not that she was unprofessional with him.

She wasn't. In any way.

But she knew that her sarcasm, wit and general taunting of his person wouldn't get fired.

"I mean I am so sorry Mr. Pennyworth." She smoothed down the sides of her skirt, "With all that's happened I tend to be a little flinch-y when I have unexpected company."

"Ms. Smoak my apologies on sneaking up on you," he went on to say, "Carving out the demographic for our new patent's distribution based on the density-distribution of our similar previous patents is quite clever." With one last appraising look from behind his chic glasses, "I wait to see what you are capable of, Ms. Smoak."

* * *

Later on she would tell Roy about it.

"I just get this really strange feeling from him," she lamely explained.

"Does he make you feel warm and tingly in your lady parts?" He chortled to himself, which earned what would have been a well-formed jab to his side, but he caught before she made impact.

"Too slow," he taunted.

They continued to circle around one another on the sparring mats.

Because with Dig was too distracted, and Oliver disinterested then she took matters into her own hands. Felicity was learning to street fight from one of the Glade's finest.

* * *

Read. Review. Let's break twenty reviews if we can!


	5. Of Explanations and Mortification

Of Mortification and Explanations

* * *

"So Laurel contested my being ousted-" When Oliver swaggered into the lair in the way that must bring people to their knees Felicity knew that something good finally must have gone his way.

Friendship is the ability to sit by someone and not have to say anything. To be completely comfortable with the silence, and content with the company.

Her and Dig, they had a system set up. It wasn't always that way. In the beginning it was Dig-and-Oliver. Dig and Oliver.

"-the head consolers are being regrouped for a quorum-"

And then it was Dig- Oliver-Felicity. She and Dig where two planets drawn into the gravity of Oliver, unable to resist his pull.

But Felicity wasn't on the same rung as Dig. Dig-Oliver and then Felicity. It wasn't the trinity that it was now. Not yet at least.

"People love a good salvation story-"

Dig and Oliver had a brotherhood forged with blood, and shared secrets. Trust, and honesty. A taciturn understanding of one another of the war they survived and the one that was still raging both on the streets of Starling and within themselves.

"-I should be reinstated within the next month-"

Felicity had no footing within such a dynamic, nothing to relate to. She was unscarred and wholesome. No horrors to escape from. No blood on her ledger.

"-We are still working on regaining the rest of Queen assets-"

And then Oliver left. He gave her direction, stability and friendship. Adventure. He gave her a life that transcended the mediocritythat was her trajectory. Through him, through Arrow, she was extraordinary.

Arrow wasn't Oliver, Arrow was a symbol. It was the good that everyone was capable of. It was uncorrupted and untouchable. When, one day Oliver put the hood down, Arrow would continue.

Oliver gave her place within a legacy to do real good within the world. He gave her a place to belong, be accepted and thrive. He brought her into this, and then left.

As if his leaving wouldn't affect others.

As if his leaving didn't rend an Oliver-shaped whole in their little piece of fabricated reality.

While she lost a friend, Dig lost a brother. _Again_.

Part of her still doesn't understand the selfishness that Oliver is capable of. Not really. It is a piece of Ollie that survived through the five years stranded. An ugly piece.

But without Oliver keeping them grounded, Dig and Felicity were more lost than initially.

But through the destruction left by Malcolm and Oliver's disappearing act, Dig and Felicity were left with one another to keep each other going.

So they tracked Oliver. She taught him some security tech basics, and he taught her how to rip drywall, and remodel the inside of the Quiver.

They shared meals together.

Stories of their lives before this. She told him about MIT, and how hard she had to work to go their full-ride. About how hard it was growing up with a single-mom.

Felicity watched AJ on the weekends so he and Carly could have date nights.

And in turn she came to their family dinners. He told her about Afghanistan, and before that WestPoint.

He told her about the stupid shit him and his brother would do in the Glades and closely escape getting in trouble for. About how much he missed Andy. How looking at little AJ made him want to fight for the Glades, for Starling, to give AJ a better city than what it was before.

And so a friendship was forged from the clawing depths of loneliness. And of mutual need.

And so there system was set up. Whenever life became to hard, to difficult to breathe they went and sat at the largest dock of Starling City. Watch the ships sail in then watch other disappear into the horizon.

Probably the very dock the Gambit left from so long ago.

Whenever Felicity went, Dig always knew. _Always_. She couldn't figure out the pattern of how he knew, and to be honest if it was anyone else it would have been creepy.

Felicity created a program to track whenever he was within a mile radius of the dock so that it would alarm in a very specific alarm to notify her. Vibrations of Morse code signaling SOS. The very vibrations going off again her leg within her pocket.

She flinched so noticeably at the second set of alarms that Oliver paused and looked at her with furrowed brows and confused eyes.

"Felicity." She was already gathering her suit jacket, and her tablet. Pushing wayward pens to the bottom of her ridiculously small bag. Seriously, how did she fit anything in there? She felt unhinged. So much for a clandestine sneak out she hoped that he was so into regaling his success that he wouldn't notice her leaving.

Laurel had edged closer to see what was happening, and Roy had stopped beating the dummy rendering the lair silent.

"Fe-li-city."

"Sorry Oliver, I've got to go. Not like _go _as in go to the bathroom, but like I have somewhere to be. I didn't wanted to rain on the I'm-a-billionaire-parade, but I am running really late and I gave to go-_go._"

She was frantic. Lying always made her skin itch and her heartbeat sped up. And she had never lied to Oliver before. Well, when she and Dig knocked him out technically that was lying by omission, but it was to keep him from a suicide mission.

Felicity took a moment to breathe, and then smiled at him, "I am really happy that you aren't jobless, and that-"

"It's twelve-thirty at night, where are you going?" Any other night she would have bristled at that tone, but rather than hash out an argument, she just needed to get to where Dig was.

This is what fish feel like when they are caught on dry land. She was floundering. Terribly. She felt heat creeping up her spine and ears. Was the lair exceptionally hot, or was she just a _liar. _She looked at Roy, _help me. Please. _

He smirked.

Damnit, Roy. She sent him her stink-eye.

"My er boss is calling me to help smooth some of the finer details of this new product. I can't really say because it would be divulging company secrets, but know that it will be really-"

"Blondie, here," Roy cut in. She was already nodding to whatever excuse he was going to create, " is being called by Mr. Penny-"

"Mr. Pennyworth-" She bounced back. Look at Roy, already understanding the team dynamic. She was so proud of him!

Always help one another out. She was going to bake him cookies as soon as she had the time.

"-For some good ol' sex."

_Oh my God. Someone put me out of my misery with one of the arrows. I am going to crash your credit score, Roy. Hack all your accounts and change the passwords. Put you on the no fly list, and then erase you social security number…_

The amount of mortification she felt was unparalleled; it was worse then when she had to be escorted out by an ambulance for the pot brownie incident, _at her first college party ever_. Worse than when she accidently laughed when she saw her first boyfriend naked for the first time. Worse then when she told Oliver she loved having him inside her.

Felicity fled the lair like it was burning, and looking back she couldn't remember a single detail from after Roy had started to speak.

_Ho-lee Shit._

* * *

If anything the whole ordeal made Dig laugh in that booming way of his. In a way she hadn't seen or heard probably from before Oliver returned.

She and him sat together huddled against the bay's breeze and the world.

Finally of hours of silence, with dawn approaching, he spoke, sounding like he had gravel in his throat.

"Lyla's pregnant, Felicity. She is pregnant, and she doesn't want the baby."

* * *

Friends, readers, and enemies: review.

Happy readings, see you tomorrow.


	6. The Beginnings of a Dynamic Duo

All mistakes are my own. Explanation at the bottom for my silence till now.

* * *

The Beginnings of the Dynamic Duo

* * *

_"__You can't make a person love their kid, Dig. Trust me," Felicity adopted a wry smile. The smile she pulled out when hurt and trying to hide it. Humor was her only defense. _

_There was a quiver in her lips. _

_A wobble in her voice. _

_Not all wounds were visible. _

_Not all scars can heal._

_She fidgeted with the glasses on her face. And crushed herself closer to his side, on the tiny bench they were sitting on._

_"__I don't know Lyla. I don't know her story, or where you came into. But I know what it's like to be the kid that stood in the way of a parent's career. I know what it's like when that parent leaves because pushing papers in Podunk, Nevada and living barely above the poverty was not the life he envisioned for himself. I know what it's like to be the cause of the parents' split."_

_Dig wasn't good with words. Never was. _

_Words can be manipulated. _

_Changed._

_Misrepresented._

_Actions were sturdier. More reliable, and easier to read._

_Perhaps the easiest to get at were the words that weren't spoken. Silences were very telling of a person. _

_Dig didn't know how to offer comfort the way Felicity generously offered, with words and reassuring rambles._

_He was to silence the way she was noise rambling. _

_In another life, it would have been strange to be so close to someone who so obviously needed white noise for comfort. But they were Dig an Felicity, two very different people bound together by Oliver and their desire to save their city._

_She paused to look at the encroaching high tide, "Not that I'm saying that you or her are poor. Actually from the size of your house, you do rather well for yourself. Oliver pays- er- paid- good money."_

_She shook her head, "I was trying not to ramble, and ended up doing it anyways. All I am trying to say is that not everyone is meant to be a parent. It took me a long time to realize that leaving us – leaving my mom and I- made my dad a shitty father. But that doesn't mean he is an evil person. Pretending to be happy, when really he was anything but happy, destroyed the man that my mother fell in love with."_

_Anger welled up inside of him. Anger towards the faceless man that abandoned a baby-Felicity. _

_He imaging knobby knees, too-long limbs and big sparkling eyes. Defenseless. Innocent. Abandoned._

_Anger towards Lyla for not wanting his baby. Dig was full supporter of women's right to choose, but this was not a situation that he thought he would ever be in. He was in love with her, and her him. Why was it so difficult to be happy?_

_He knew that she would keep the baby for him. That she would sacrifice her happiness if it meant his. But how could he dare ask for it? She would grow to resent him and their child. And he would constantly be worrying when it would all fail. When she would break from under the weight of the façade he asked her to create._

_That had been an awful conversation, when he and Lyla sat down and for the first time talked about what they expected of their future. For never wanting to settle down and have kids._

_And the startling realization that Dig's dream of a house brimming with children was not something he and Lyla shared. Where he saw family dinners, noise and brightness, she saw clandestine rendezvous, shadows, secrets, and them as they were now. _

_"__We are going to be fine, just fine, John Diggle." She had finally broke the silence, something he knew she probably wanted to do right from when it started._

_"__How can you possible know that, Felicity." He looked at her then, and saw how serene she was looking into the endless horizon of the bay. The twinkling streetlights from the Westside highway glittered against the darkness of twilight._

_He always admired her ability to keep calm in the face of disaster. To keep on the path she set herself upon. The grimmer the situation the more resolute she became. She believed in him, and Oliver, despite overwhelming evidence opposing that faith in them._

_He wished he had her ability to believe._

_Felicity was like a lighthouse, she guided them, gave them direction, and comfort in knowing there was an end._

_"__I just know, Diggle. Ok?"_

_"__Ok." He replied._

_"__Ok."_

* * *

"Roy, now you are going to mount the motherboard."

Both Felicity and Roy were within a circle of technological destruction. And if the destruction wasn't be her own doing, Felicity would have been outraged. Felicity flopped onto her back looking directly up to the Salmon Bar.

Yes.

Before, when Felicity didn't know Oliver or Diggle well, she would avoid looking at them in their various stages of undress out of modesty. But now. Well, a little distraction did a whole world of good sometimes, when at every corner, and turn, their city had been burning.

It was three weeks after finding out what was the matter with Dig that things within the Foundry resembled the normalcy before the Slade debacle.

Felicity judged normal of a graded curve; she was tech support for a super hero after all.

A baby, Lyla had been expecting.

A little Digglet.

Felicity couldn't imagine a better dad-to-be than Dig. His kids would use his gigantic arms like monkey bar to climb up. He would be protective and caring. Gentle, but stern.

Her heart hurt for him.

She knew he was struggling to reconcile his desire to be supportive of Lyla with his heartbreak for losing a future with kids in it as long as he stayed with her.

Which, of course, meant most of her nights – or perhaps more aptly her wee morning hours- were spent sitting with him by the docks.

It had reached a point that even Oliver noticed Dig's downward spiral of mood.

Not to say that Oliver was oblivious, because Felicity knew without a doubt that he picked up on things she would never she. Like Oliver's ability to hit a gunman two hundred feet away and without looking.

The man had eyes like a hawk, but he was also a bit self absorbed. Leading to the obliviousness.

Like the fact that Oliver hadn't noticed that Roy had been sleeping in the Quiver for five consecutive nights. After Felicity dug a digital whole into Roy's finical records and saw a gapping negative balance. By digging further she realized that a week had marked the day since the bank repossessed Roy's house, and his personal items. He had been sleeping in his car and showering in the lair, until the bank repo-ed the car too.

Roy was broke, homeless, and jobless.

How could she suggest he take up residence in her unused guest room without inciting his anger or insulting his pride?

Roy could carry any burden, but to willingly accept help was against his very being.

They were a team damn it. How could she help him when he refused to accept the necessity of help in the first place?

Felicity liked Roy, liked his determination, and his self-reliance. She liked how he pinked around the ears whenever she showed him affection after he returned from missions. How he would shyly smile after she told him a job well done with something tech related.

When she looked into his file she saw his background. Absentee father – like hers- and a druggie mother. He was in foster care, and bouncing around houses up until the age of sixteen where he became emancipated. He became an adult who had to worry about bills, taxes, and jobs at sixteen where Felicity hadn't had to act like a full-fledged adult until her twenties.

Felicity hated Roy's tragic story. She hated that he was slotted to go to college, almost have finished his senior year until he lost his job at a diner. Then he had to drop out of high school and take on two jobs to keep where he lived.

Good-bye to the dream of college.

Felicity hated that he felt the need to hide his intelligence in order to appear _tough_. As if she couldn't see his intelligence by his ability to retain and understand the information he was exposed to for the first time.

"Come on Blondie, I know I'm hot." Felicity realized that she had been staring at him.

Roy fluttered his eyelids and made a fish face at her. She sincerely hoped that wasn't how he kissed Thea because it was gross. And the noises he was making… Ew. Slobber.

"But try to control your staring at me."

Felicity snorted and nudged him with her foot, " I see right through your tough-guy façade Roy Harper, and you are a grade-A goof."

Roy scowled, "Am not."

"O-_kay._"

"Seriously, Blondie, I am not a goof."

Felicity's silence incited an even stronger denial.

She closed her eyes to think, to really shut off any external stimuli and focus on a solution

_Quiet. Focus. _She pictured Roy's face, and ran through possible pressure points in her head._ Aha. Got it. Honesty and emotions scare the shit out of you Roy-my-boy. It is for your own good._

"I worked for five months on this lair. _Five months._ And Slade destroyed it in five minutes; he wasn't even trying. He was playing with the safety of everyone I love, in the lair that I basically designed."

"Felicity, no one blames you, you _know_ that."

Felicity opened her eyes to pleading blue ones.

"It doesn't matter, whether people blame me, because I blame myself. And now I don't even see my boys anymore." She added a wobble to her voice and a quiver to her lip. "I thought that once Slade was gone. That once we defeated the villains I would be able to breathe. But I can't breathe. Even if I could I am so lonely, Roy."

This was getting too real to quickly. The sentences that were being flung at Roy were not just a plot to get him to accept her help. They were terrifyingly all the things she had bottled up.

"My boys: Oliver is busy trying to regain Queen Consolidated I haven't seen him in weeks and I am trying to be understanding. But I hate that Laurel literally eclipses everything in the world. I hate that right now I feel like I am not worth a Laurel Lance. He is one of my best friends, but lately I am feeling more and more like some goddamned tech support. Unpaid, by the way." She blinked away the very real, burning wetness within her eyes.

She hated this insecurity, and jealousy that only Oliver could evoke. But honestly, it wasn't a new phenomenon. Felicity had been going up against the Laurel's of the world for as she long as she could remember.

Felicity was not roll-out-of-bed beautiful and she knew that. She needed makeup, and had to go one daily runs, and struggled with her crazy frizzy hair for years before she realized it needed product.

Felicity knew she was decently pretty, but she felt like was right back in high school, with her head gear and huge professor goggle-glasses when she compared herself next to Laurel.

She hated this insecurity, and the terrible memories of her high-school-non-existent-self-esteem it brought.

"If I didn't check on his tracker, then I wouldn't even know if he was alive and Dig is dealing with some very sensitive issues. Issues that are emotionally taxing to constantly try and support him through."

Roy was confused by her babble, which was the usual effect of listening to her stream of conciseness. But the vulnerability in her face was plain to see.

"I need someone I can depend on. Someone to help me rebuild the lair. A roommate that makes the house not so silent. Someone to save me from my insane babble at night. A friend. Please. Roy, _please, I _know it's a burden, I know your dealing with Thea's departure, but I need a friend, right know, and I feel like I am friendless-Felicity again."

Roy smirked, "People actually called you that-"

She scowled, "-I had a rough time in high school, Ragamuffin-Roy."

"How did you even-"

"Of course, Felicity. Of course, you can depend on me. And I mean, if you wanted me to live with you, you only had to ask. Long speech not needed." He smile was small. Soft though, and genuine. But then it turned playful, "I know old maids like you like some fresh eye candy like me around to keep going."

She snorted and nudged him with her foot, before directing him on the next step in reconstructing the main motherboard of the lair.

* * *

It wasn't until much later that night, when she was showing Roy the guest bed room, that he hugged her.

_Success. _

In her hair he whispered, "You are incomparable, Felicity Smoak. You know that."

Felicity fell asleep that night, for the first time in months, content.

* * *

So here is the story. To help lessen the burden of the college debt I have gotten the job so the time for daily updates is nonexistent. An exhausting and mind-numbing job. And I have been slowly working on this monster chapter.

But here is the deal. I need to know that the people who read this get something from it because it becomes mighty difficult to put down hours of time carving out a chapter and then get minimal-to-no feedback.

ALSO, I am looking for a beta-reader if anyone is open to that.

Look for an update soon.

More reviews correlate to a faster update time period. Promise.


End file.
